Daddy Diaries - Birth from a man's perspective

Updated: Sep 29, 2020

Firstly lets jump back a few weeks previous to the day of Evie’s birth. The day of what should have been our last scan, we headed to the hospital for our appointment, when being scanned by the Sonographer it showed that the baby was still breech in Amy’s Belly. We were told to go back to the waiting room where we will be met by a head midwife who specialises in this sort of issue. We were told that we had two options. option one was to have an “elective Cesarean” (I say this in abbreviations as it wasn’t as if we actually had a choice wether to have a c section or not) or two an ECV (external cephalic version). Basically an ECV is where a trained midwife/nurse or doctor try to use different massage manoeuvres to gently push the baby out of the breech position. We obviously elected the ECV as Amy was adamant the Caesarean was a last resort. This however did not work. Although we were hoping for a natural birth, unfortunately Evie had other ideas as she decided she wanted to be breech (she was laying with her bottom in Amy’s pelvis). After the failed attempt at the ECV we were told information briefly about the caesarean and were told that we would expect a phone call of our date to have Evie and that as long as Evie was still breech on the day, everything would go as planned. Amy received the email to say our date was 4th February and that we were to attend a meeting with the surgeons and midwife unit at the hospital the friday before to discuss everything.

We had everything we thought we would need a few months before hand all ready and packed in the boot of our car, just in case Amy went into labour whilst we were out anywhere. We made sure we had more than enough for both Amy and Evie (a few bits for me as I could always nip home for more anyway) just in case they needed to stay in hospital if anything went wrong (I would say this is a must have prepared as you don’t want to be messing around when your partner is in labour thinking of what you need in a panic). The Friday soon arrived and we headed to the hospital with Amy’s mum as she wanted to be involved as much as she could because she was Amy’s second birthing partner originally. The consultation included everything that would happen during the C- Section, how they would do it, how many they do a day (excluding emergency ones) how long it should take to recover in hospital and what time to be at the hospital for. We got told to be at the Maternity ward for 6:30am on the Monday (so 3 days after the consultation). As the weekend came to a close we all got up early on the Monday morning (me, Amy and her mum Janine), triple checking we had everything including the car seat as you cannot take your baby out of the hospital without one of these. As we got to the maternity ward, we were all taken to the bed in which Amy would be spending her time in hospital in, it was surrounded by another 3 beds so we were not alone. A few hours into waiting Amy received a hospital gown to change into ready for when we go down into surgery, I got given a pair of scrubs to change into as well. At this point the reality started to hit me that I was going to be a DAD! I was slightly nervous as I didn’t know what to expect. A few more hours had passed and we were told that we were next and heading down to theatre shortly. All three of us headed down to theatre room but Janine had to wait in a waiting room just down the corridor as you can only have one person with you in actual theatre. As we got into theatre, the reality really and truly hit me that this was it, it was happening soon, I was going to meet my own flesh and blood, my baby daughter. I got told where to sit (next to Amy’s head). If I remember correctly, we went into theatre at around 11am, the 28 minutes from when we got into theatre to when they showed us our baby girl went really quick, it seemed like we were only in there for a few minutes before they lifted Evie up in front of us. Both of us were ecstatically happy to meet our little bundle of joy weighing in at just 7lb 3oz (3.3Kg) it took a while for the midwifes to clean her up and finish weighing her. Cutting the cord was the best thing in the world and so far nothing I can think of can top it (apart from meeting Evie and Amy of course) it’s a feeling that is hard to explain, but it brings out the reality more, that it is real.

Because Amy had just had surgery they obviously needed to sew Amy up. During this I was taken with Evie into the Recovery room for the C-Sections, the midwife cut open my scrubs and handed Evie to me so we could do skin-to-skin contact (which is very important as it’s the initial bonding with parent and baby) I must been cradling Evie for at least an hour I think, but this seemed like a good few hours, I just didn’t want to let her out of my arms. Eventually Amy was wheeled out of theatre (Amy had lost a bit more blood than normal c section so needed to monitor her a bit longer) I had to give Evie to Amy so she could at least try and breast feed, which Evie latched on really well I believe she drank for around 45 minutes, about 20 minutes after Evie got fed we were taken back to the ward. On the way back to the ward, we met up with Janine who followed us back to Amy’s bed. We got back onto the ward at around 1pm I believe and the first thing we did was put Evie in her first ever sleep-suit and then placed her into the little plastic cot that the hospital provides for you for your baby to sleep in. Amy was finally allowed food and drink after nearly 14 hours of not having anything. The nurse arrived with a cup of tea and two slices of toast for Amy to eat. Changing her nappy just came second nature to a point (you don’t realise how runny, black and quick a baby can poo if you’re not prepared) as one of her nappies I changed, I wasn’t quite quick enough with her nappy and she poo’d in the cot (obviously I have become a lot better since). While all 3 of us were still over the moon of Evie, we had Amy’s brother (Liam) and dad (Dee) turn up to visit at around 3:30pm/4Pm (obviously plenty of pass the baby and pictures) everyone was overly happy and cooing over Evie. As time went on the midwives came and took out Amy’s catheter and advised Amy to take a shower. Luckily the shower room was right next to the bed (it’s a shared shower room for patients) so we called a midwife to help us with everything like hot water towels etc. We asked Amy’s parents and brother to watch Evie for a few minutes which they obviously did not mind. So whilst I was helping Amy get washed, we had to be very careful of the dressing they put over her C-Section as to not get it wet and obviously Amy was still very sore. As we were about to dry Amy she turned to me and said to me that she felt funny and with that she collapsed and hit her right shoulder and bit of her head. I was not prepared for her to go down and she was against the wall so could not easily catch her as she went down, luckily the midwife showed us both were the emergency pull cord was in case this sort of thing happens, when I pulled the cord, it seemed like the midwives took hours to come but i think it was only seconds. I really panicked as I didn’t know quite what to do as i’ve never been put in that sort of situation before. As Amy came to, she asked why she was on the floor as she didn’t quite understand what had happened so we explained that she fainted/collapsed, and she didn’t quite realise she had she just said that she had a really good sleep (it was only about 30 seconds she was out). With this we quickly got her dressed and took her back to her bed. As we got her back to bed, her family were obviously quite concerned for her and wondered what had gone on as all they heard was a loud bang and midwives rushing in, Amy’s mum was panicking! So obviously we told them, with this the midwifes asked Amy if she wanted any pain killers or if it hurt anywhere she said she would like some pain killers and that her left shoulder hurt (bearing in mind she hit her right side in the shower) turns out she fainted as she lost quite a bit of blood in theatre and there was also no extractor fan in the bathroom and all Amy had really eaten was some toast and tea before-hand. Amy was then asked if she wanted any dinner, she naturally said yes as she hadn’t really eaten much during the day, she opted for a lasagne as during the pregnancy she couldn’t eat any red meat or any meat really so wanted to see if she could eat it again finally and she did luckily! About half way through her dinner her family left us alone for the night.

The next morning I woke up and Amy hadn’t really got much sleep due to being ecstatically happy because of Evie, as the morning became more midday a midwife came round to check on Evie’s ears, to make sure her hearing was either okay or perfect, unfortunately she could only get a reading from on ear clear and not the other ear, we had to go and check her other ear at our nearest hospital (the other ear was fine). While we were still at the hospital we had a rep from Bounty turn up who wanted to take some pictures of Evie, we had to go to a different part of the ward to have these taken, this only took about 20-30 minutes in total and Evie was very well behaved (she was a sleep all of the time being new born). Because of Amy’s fall and blood loss due to the C-Section she had to have regular checks for her blood pressure and heart rate, which kept fluctuating between good and relatively bad almost all of the time it was relatively high, so we could not leave the hospital early (your usually in for 24 hours after the C-Section so should have left at 11:30am/mid-day) I wouldn’t say that we were having regular check-ups but we were having a few check-ups. For the last few check-ups we had a really nice bubbly lady that I don’t think was quite a midwife but she knew what she was doing. Once she saw that Amy’s pressure went down, she went and spoke to a midwife who then dis-charged us. As we were leaving the hospital, we made sure we had everything with us as we didn’t really want to turn around and get it all. Carrying Evie out of the hospital was like carrying out a box of fragile dolls, making sure to be extra careful with every step I took and making sure that Amy was okay as she was obviously still very sore. When we got to the car, I made sure that Evie was strapped in nice and tightly So that the car seat didn’t move in case the worst was to happen, also making sure that Amy was comfortable in the front seat. When they were both sorted, I got into the car and drove us all home. I’m not entirely sure what I thought would happen on the day or the day after apart from thinking we would not have been in hospital for as long as we were, I thought that we would only be in there until about 10am Tuesday. I was not expecting Amy to fall over in the shower at all, that did panic me a lot. I was extremely proud of Amy as she didn’t originally want a C-Section, she wanted a natural birth, so to go through something she didn’t want made me very proud of her knowing that she could do just about anything that she could put her mind too.


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